Love Languages
The 5 love languages were first coined by Gary Chapman in 1992 in his book of the same name. Most people have heard the phase “love languages” but don’t always know what they are or how they can improve relationships.
Gifts
In this love language, a person shows love by giving gifts to others and/or feels most loved when given a gift from someone else.
Examples:
unexpected flowers
souvenirs from a trip
buying high price items for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries
Acts of service
In this love language, a person shows love by doing things for others and/or feels most loved when someone does things for them.
Examples:
cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, etc.
getting your partner’s car washed or oil changed, or giving them a ride to/from the mechanic
running errands for your partner
Words of affirmation
In this love language, a person shows love by verbally expressing their feelings and/or feels most loved when someone says positive things to them.
Examples:
“Thank you”, “I appreciate you”
“You look beautiful in that dress”
“I love when you ______”, “One of my favorite things about you is ______”
writing love letters, notes, or poems
Physical touch
In this love language, a person shows love and/or feels most loved through affection and physical closeness.
Examples:
Hugs, holding hands, cuddling
Massages, a playful pat on the butt
Sexual activities
quality time
In this love language, a person shows love by spending time with someone without distractions and/or feels most loved when someone sets time aside just for them.
Examples:
planning a shared activity to do together
talking on the phone and giving the other person your full attention
scheduling a monthly date night
putting phones away and watching a show/movie together
Knowing your love language is important, but it’s also vital to understand your partner’s love language to reduce conflict. Think of it as if the two of you were actually speaking different languages- you could be saying the sweetest, most romantic things in French, but if they speak Italian, they aren’t gonna understand and will likely be questioning the relationship. If your love language is quality time and you show you care by planning activities together, but your partner’s love language is acts of service and they show they care by taking care of the majority of household tasks, it can be easy to not notice how the other person is expressing their love because we become focused on the things we’re doing not being reciprocated. Everyone brings different strengths to a relationship and recognizing what your partner is contributing goes a long way towards relationship satisfaction.
Love languages are also relevant to non-romantic relationships. So start noticing friends and family members love languages too!
Click here to take the quiz and find out your love language: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/